


Sunshine turns to grey, whenever you're away

by Nightkeepyr



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angry Oliver, Angst, Episode 3x07 speculation, Episode wishlist, F/M, Hurt Oliver, Probably not gonna happen, Slow Burn, hurt felicity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-15
Updated: 2014-11-15
Packaged: 2018-02-25 12:03:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2621033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightkeepyr/pseuds/Nightkeepyr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A knock on the door leads to an accusatory, angry painful conversation between Felicity and Oliver. </p><p>“But apparently you’re moving on with your life right? Moving on from us right?”<br/>She recoiled as if he’d slapped her. He might as well have.<br/>Her shock morphed, twisting with hurt and anger.<br/>“There is no us!” She cried, stabbing her fingers against his breastbone. ”You made sure of that! You chose that!”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sunshine turns to grey, whenever you're away

**Author's Note:**

> This came to mind after seeing the NZ promo for “Draw back your bow” It’s speculation on a difficult and painful conversation between Oliver and Felicity. I feel like there’s been a lack of consistent acknowledgement of each others feelings for each other (so far). I hope the show addresses this more from next week on. I just needed to get it out of my system before the episode airs.
> 
> All mistakes are mine.

 

SUNSHINE TURNS TO GREY, WHENEVER YOU’RE AWAY

 

 

\------>

 

Felicity tossed and turned in the darkness, the sheets twisting around her bare legs and stomach, slick with a fine sheen of sweat, the ghost of diamonds around her neck still a guilty, heavy weight against her skin, and her heart.

That guilt had beaten in her sternum as soon as Ray had put it on her. Anger had followed straight behind, simmering beneath the surface of her fractured composure. She’d carried that anger with her for the rest of the night.

She shifted restlessly, laying on her side, facing her window, her eyes drawn to the outline of her vanity.

The dress hung on the back of the chair in front of it. A dress not given to her by-

She shook her head violently, willing the thoughts of _him_ away.

The dress mocked her attempts, pulling her further away from some much needed rest. Under the cover of night, her vision blurry, she could secretly pretend that the offending garment was green.

Frustration clawed at her and she threw the covers off. She headed to the bathroom, navigating her way minus her glasses, the way familiar without perfect sight.

She splashed her face with cool water and took a few deep breaths.

She made her way back to bed, contemplating whether it was even worth trying to catch a couple of hours of agitated sleep.

She’d just decided against it, choosing to queue up her Netflix when a loud knock at her door scared the shit out of her.

The knocking turned to heavy handed banging and she scooped up her glasses hurriedly, her heart racing as she flew to the door.

She opened the door, the handle cutting into her palm and froze momentarily.

He stood on her doorstep, his shoulders slumped, head bent forward and she jerked back in confused surprise.

His shoulders dipped even further on a ragged exhale. Then he looked up from the floor and she gasped. He looked devastated.

“Oliver!”

It was one word, but she could hear her panic in her voice.

He raked his hands through his already messy short hair, and her dread spiked through her veins.

“Who is it? John? Roy?”

He shook his head.

“Thea?” She asked uncertainly. The name of the only other woman she could think would put that look on his face, stuck in her throat. Luckily he responded, saving her from asking if anything had happened to Laurel.

“Can I come in?” He asked hoarsely.

“Oliver you’re scaring me,” She said as she opened the door wider, without hesitation, ushering him in. “Are you hurt?” Her eyes ran over him, assessing for any slight nuances of an injury he was hiding from her and she pretended she didn’t see him tense and purposefully make sure no part of him touched her as he entered her home.

She couldn’t pretend it didn’t hurt like hell though.

“Are you hurt?” She asked again.

A dark, scornful chuckle tore from his throat in response, as he scanned her place, his head tilted as if listening for something. What, she wasn’t sure.

“I suppose I should be thankful you’re here alone.” He gritted out, his jaw clenching.

“What?” She asked in confusion. “Of course I’m here alone Oliver. Who the hell else do you think -”

The slant of his eyebrow and the brief glimpse of pain in his eyes cut her off.

“Oh.”

He didn’t say anything, just continued to stare at her with an intensity that had goose bumps pebbling her skin. And then, he shut down in front of her.

Suddenly cold. Stoic, Expressionless.

Unreadable Oliver.

She swallowed thickly, pushing her glasses up her nose.

“Why would you think that?” She asked, well aware that the anger she couldn’t seem to get rid of was bubbling up inside her.

“You two looked pretty cosy earlier.”

She tilted her head, “You mean with all the media, and the board members. And you and Digg? Yeah, that was pretty damn cosy.” She said acerbically, hurt that he was tainting her appointment as Head of QC’s Applied Sciences Division. She thought he was proud of her and their accomplishment. Because even if Oliver wasn’t the official head of QC right now, and things were off between the two of them, she still considered him part of her getting that place in the company. Still thought it should have been him standing behind that podium today.

“After.” He said, his gaze focused on her neck tracking slowly up to her lips.

Felicity felt the blood drain from her face and then instantly rush back in. Her whole body flushed as she realised that he’d seen them. He knew about the necklace…the dress…the kiss.

“What?” She whispered.

“I guess I should be happy for you right?” He sounded anything but.

“Oliver.”

“He’s a good guy. Great even.”

“Oliver don’t.”

“No tortured past. No baggage.” He carried on. “No secrets.”

Felicity wasn’t quite sold on that last one. Not on the former two either.

“We – I don’t know that for sure.” She hedged.

“But does it really matter. What it comes down to is what he can give you.”

She stood unmoving, her heart thundering in her ears for an immeasurable amount of time.

“What do you think that is?” She broke the silence eventually.

He sighed heavily. “Him. All of him. Right Felicity?”

His mask slipped then, his unspoken words sounding louder than those passing his lips, and the look on his face hurt so much. The need to touch him, to hold his face and press her body close to his had never been as strong as in that moment.  

He stepped closer to her. “Right Felicity? He’s being one hundred percent honest with you right?”

And neither was the urge to slap that beautiful face of his.

The déjà vu was almost crippling. Only the last time he questioned her this way, it had been about Barry. Back then, she hadn’t considered he was asking out of jealousy, but things had changed.

“So that’s what this is about. You can’t handle it? You don’t want me, but you don’t want anyone else to want me either?”

His eyes flashed, blazing blue fire, searing her. “You know I want you!”

“Then do something!” She countered furiously.

His jaw clenched so hard, she heard his teeth snap together.

“I. Can’t.”

She shook her head, fighting against the painfully disappointed tears threatening to fall. She did not want to cry in front of him right now.

“Then you can’t keep jerking the chain whenever you feel threatened by another man.” She choked out.

“You think my ego is in play here?” He asked, his voice low. Dangerously low.

She swallowed hard against the burn of unshed tears, unable to look away from him.

His fists clenched at his sides. “It’s not men.” He said. “It’s not just men.” He repeated, his voice rising. “It’s life. It’s criminals and danger. It’s blades at your throat. And fucking RPG’s coming through restaurant windows Felicity!”

“Oliver.”

“It’s fucking _killing_ me not to be with you.” He admitted. “But apparently you’re moving on with your life right? Moving on from us right?”

She recoiled as if he’d slapped her. He might as well have.

Her shock morphed, twisting with hurt and anger.

“There is no _us_!” She cried, stabbing her fingers against his breastbone. ” _You_ made sure of that! _You_ chose that!”

“You seem pretty fucking fine with that choice!” He grabbed hold of her wrists, holding them against him. The first time he’d touched her since that night in the hospital corridor.

She cursed her body’s reaction to him touching her after so long. Intimately aware of her hands opening and flattening against the rapid rise and fall of his chest.

“You took that choice from me. I never wanted this.” She said brokenly, unable to stop the tears from falling any longer.

His head lowered, his forehead touching hers.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He whispered over and over again. His breath fanning her face, warming her lips.

Her eyes closed, her shoulders shaking with silent sobs as they stood that way.

They pulled back simultaneously and he angled their hands, not letting go, to push up her steamed up, tear stained glasses.

“I need…time.” He told her softly. “I know it’s not fair…” He trailed off. His expression completely open, unguarded, looking down at her. Everything he wasn’t saying clear in those azure depths.

_I’m begging you._

_Please don’t give up on me._

_On us._

_Please._

_Please._

She raised herself onto the tips of her toes, pushing up slightly. Moving their mouths slightly closer but not touching. She exhaled. He inhaled. Once. Twice.

_Please._

“Damn you Oliver.” She said, getting lost in ever dangling maybes. Getting lost in hope. In them.

_Please._

“Damn us both.”

 

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> Bear in mind this is all spec. I know she’s not wearing the necklace in one picture. I’m not sure if or when Oliver sees her with Ray during this episode, so please forgive and ignore ‘plot’ holes in that regard. I know this may be possibly OOC but it needed out. I hope you don’t feel like you wasted too much time. Thank you for taking the time to read.


End file.
